Saturday, July 25, 2009

New Healthcare Plan

I don't know who the author is, but this sounded funny. And, it makes a point.

The Perfect Solution to Senior Health Care

While discussing the upcoming Universal Health Care Program with my sister-in-law the other day, I think we have found the solution.

I am sure you have heard the ideas that if you're a senior you need to suck it up and give up the idea that you need any health care.

A new hip? Unheard of!

We simply can't afford to take care of you anymore. You don't need any medications for your high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, etc. Let’s take care of the young people. After all, they will be ruling the world very soon.

So here is the solution.

When you turn 70, you get a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of course, you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head and all the health care you need!!!

New teeth, great!!!

Need glasses, no problem.

New hip, knee, kidney, lung, heart? Well bring it on.

And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. And, since you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income tax.

I really think we have a Perfect Solution!!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dear President scare me

Got this in my email today. Haven't posted here in a while. Too busy.

Thought this should start some conversation.

Does that really ever happen anymore?

Dear President scare me

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

ex-Governor Ryan's Newest Roommate

THIS, my dear fellow Illinoisians, is what you get when you vote for a person simply "because he's a Democrat."

[To be honest, Topinka would have looked good in this suit as well...or maybe the orange jump suit. It would have gone better with her hair...]

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Pro-McCain / Anti-Obama Campaign Signs

Spanning the globe to bring you the many faces of conservative thought, here is my collection of Pro-McCain/Anti-Obama signs that I've collected so far:

Friday, September 12, 2008

Late Night Comedy

I signed up for emails from Newsmax a long time ago. I delete 99%. They keep sending me this one that says my doctor is lying to me about cholesterol medications. I am thinking these people should find new advertisers if they wish to maintain their credibility.

Anyway, I also get the "Late Night" shows' joke list, and this weeks is good. Conan O'Brien's is my fav.

Late Night Jokes from

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

● The New York Times had an article on problems with elderly people. They said one of the worst things that could happen to an old person is breaking a hip. The second worse thing? Losing Ohio.

● Joe Biden put his foot in his mouth the other day. Out campaigning, he told a crowd that Hillary is as qualified or more qualified that he is. Plus she still has her original hair.

● Sarah Palin took a break. She went back to Alaska. Now people can go back to ignoring John McCain.

● On her first day back, she shot two campaign commercials, a moose, and a caribou.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons I Like Being An Actor Presented by Robert De Niro and Al Pacino

10. Sometimes when I go to the movies, the popcorn guy will give me a
free squirt of chemical butter (Al Pacino)
9. Every time I go to work, I get to ask myself, "I wonder if I'll see Harvey
Keitel naked" (Robert De Niro)
8. Well, you've got to keep honing your craft, or you could end up out
of the business and taking a job as Governor of California (Al Pacino)
7. If you do a scene where you're eating pudding, they often let you keep
the pudding (Robert De Niro)
6. I got to meet Spider-Man (Al Pacino)
5. It's the makeup. I like wearing the makeup. (Robert De Niro)
4. You get to make films for personal reasons — I made "Righteous Kill"
to let people know I'm still alive (Al Pacino)
3. You get to make films for personal reasons — I made "Righteous Kill"
to see if Al was still alive (Robert De Niro)
2. Beats my old gig as a hockey mom (Al Pacino)
1. Get to read well-crafted dialogue like, "Get the f*** out of here"
(Robert De Niro)

Late Show with David Letterman

● Over at ABC, Charles Gibson interviewed Sarah Palin, I believe her first big-time interview. He asked her, “Are you ready to be president?” She said, “Oh fer sure!”

● During the interview, she gave birth to her sixth child.

● I like Sarah Palin; she looks like the dip sample lady at Safeway.

● Matt Damon says Sarah Palin would be a disaster in the White House. I think I’ll wait until I hear what Ben Affleck has to say.

Late Night with Conan O'Brien

● Sarah Palin has been getting briefed on what she needs to know to be John McCain’s vice president. The first thing they taught her was CPR.

● An activist in Alaska is trying to get Sarah Palin to release 1,000 e-mails that she is withholding from the public. Apparently some e-mails went unanswered with the subject line, “Mom I Need to Talk With You About Birth Control.”

● They’re having trouble picking jurors in O.J. Simpson’s armed robbery trial. The judge says they want a jury of O.J.’s peers, but it’s hard to find anyone else who got away with double murder.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

● A new study came out that says men have a biological clock, too. I know I do. My big hand is always playing with my little one.

● Kanye West was arrested at LAX. He smashed a paparazzi’s camera after he realized they were filming him. Then, he realized TMZ was there too filming him, so he tried to smash theirs as well. You can’t smash all the cameras. You’d be smashing the airport security cameras, the satellite cameras too. You can’t win. It’s like Wackamo.

● If Kanye wanted to really destroy the photographer’s camera, he should have checked the camera into his baggage.

Thursday, July 24, 2008


The new movie "Hype: The Obama Effect" will be out in theaters soon.

I could have saved them a lot of money.

Two words: empty suit.

Friday, July 18, 2008

New JibJab Video!

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